


What Not To Wear

by ashtiff



Category: Panic! at the Disco, Young Veins
Genre: M/M, What Not To Wear AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-12
Updated: 2014-03-21
Packaged: 2018-01-04 11:18:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashtiff/pseuds/ashtiff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan Ross and Spencer Smith have hosted the TLC show 'What Not To Wear' for the past few years, and so far all the contestants on the show have been female and Ryan wants to change that. Change comes in the form of Brendon Urie, a struggling musician who wants absolutely nothing to do with the show.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Ryan scrolls through the list of potential candidates for this weeks episode of 'What not to wear' and sighs to himself. All he see's on the list is hundreds of overweight 30 year old moms who try to squeeze themselves into a size 6. After last week's incident, he doesn't want to work with anymore women. But unfortunately for him, that looks like it's all he has to work with.

Spencer, having overheard the sigh turned to face his best friend/co-host. He only took this job because Ryan didn't want to host alone even though Spencer knows he could, seriously Ryan does most of the work anyway. Spencer is just there for moral support when the women get too pissed off at Ryan for lashing out on their club attire.

"Ryan, this is like the fifth time you've sighed in the past ten minutes, why do you have such trouble picking out a person?" Spencer rubs his temple, knowing Ryan is going to give him a rant about old women and wanting to 'spice things up'

"Well Spencer," Ryan begins, turning around in his swivel chair and lacing his fingers together ontop of one knee "We are on our fourth season, and so far we've only had women! Old mom's who don't how to dress, I'll have you know that men don't know how to dress either! This show is so sexist it hurts Spencer!"

Spencer rolls his eyes, having heard this argument from Ryan too many times before and he gives the same answer as he always does "Just find a guy Ryan."

"Yea Spencer, I'll do that. Thanks for the great fucking advice!" Ryan rolls his eyes and turns in his chair facing the computer with the list of unfashionable women plastered all over the screen. "You're not doing anything right now, how about you bring up the list and help me find someone. If we can't find a guy then I at least want to find a women who owns more then tight cocktail dresses."

Spencer just groans and turns on his computer and skips ahead 100 pages, guessing Ryan has already went through the first 99 pages. After about a half hour of scrolling through fifty pages, Spencer gasps, actually surprised that he found a guy in the list, but a young guy. He smirks to himself as he reads over his portfolio.

Name: Brendon Urie  
Age: 22  
Job: Musician  
Referred by: Jonathan Walker (Friend)  
About (written by Walker) Brendon is one of my closest friends, I've known him for a long time and he has never had any fashion sense seriously, he even knows it too. He talks about being a nudist and I for one don't want to see him naked seriously. So, I know this is a chick show and all but, Brendon needs this he is a mess.

"Hey Ryan come look at this"

***

Brendon tightens his guitar strap around his body and grips the neck of his guitar stronger. He can't believe he got this gig, he's only been thinking about playing here for months. Granted, its only a medium sized indie coffee shop but still, there are probably fifty people out there and this place has been home to a few musicians that Brendon looks up to religiously.

He takes a drink of water from the bottle left in his small dressing room and looks at himself in the mirror, taking in his slightly ruffled hair, charcoal lined eyes and dark brown iris's. He sings a few notes and plays a few chords on his guitar before he hears the door opening, he turns, expecting to see the coffee shop owner, but is met with Jon's oddly giddy expression.

"Jon?" Brendon asks standing up from the chair and walking to the door "Why are you here?"

"You seriously think I'm going to miss you playing here after you've been talking your ass off about it for the past five days?"

"Well I can't help it! I've been coming here for years and they just randomly ask me to perform, I don't care though, I'm so fucking excited, seriously." Brendon beams down at his guitar and he feels his stomach flutter happily. He hasn't been this excited since the boy in his chemistry class in 8th grade kissed him at drug mart. Brendon doesn't like to think about how said boy called him a faggot the next day at school and never talked to him again.

"Well, the manager told me that you can come out now, or whenever you're ready" Jon says 

"She told you to get me?" Brendon questions, confused

"Well uhm, she was going to get you, but I told her I wanted to er surprise you?" The indication at the end comes out a question but Jon tries to hide it but putting on a smile before exiting the room. Brendon still feels confused, but pushes aside the feeling before following Jon out of the room and heading out onto the stage.

For some reason, the crowd is dark and he can only see the outlines of the people standing in the area past the small stage. Brendon stands in front of the microphone and pushes his fears and nerves aside. "Hi, My name is Brendon Urie and I'm going to sing a few songs for you today"

The crowd cheers and he hears a few calls of his name before he begins to strum a cord quietly and adds "I wrote this song a few weeks ago, its called Northern downpour" Brendon begins to sing quietly his nerves showing and he shakes slightly, he has never performed in front of so many people before and it clearly shows.

When he comes to the chorus, his voice is more natural and relaxed, ignoring his nerves and pretending he's sitting out on the fire escape of his apartment, singing out to the stars and moon at night like he always does, he closes his eyes and pictures the bright moon peering down at him as he sings to it.

He finishes the song and the crowd cheers so much louder then it had when he introduced himself. All of a sudden, the light comes on, brightening the room quickly. Brendon winces slightly as his eyes adjust to the brightness and he feels himself freeze as he looks at the crowd. The audience is filled with his family members, and friends. He gasps and smiles at them, still confused "Oh wow uhm, hey guys"

Then, two unfamiliar people come out from a side door and everybody turns to them and cheers. Brendon feels his heart sink. Seriously, what the fuck is going on? This is meant to be my night he thinks to himself. The two strangers walk onto the stage and then Brendon see's cameras coming out from the corners of the room. Okay what the fuck?

"Hello Brendon Urie" The first guy says and then Brendon gets it. He knows them and now he's fucking pissed off. "My name is Ryan Ross, and that is Spencer Smith" He says, pointing to the other man standing on the other side of Brendon.

Ryan wraps an arm around Brendon and Brendon seriously tries to resist the urge to shrug it off but he can't help it when he wiggles his shoulder slightly and pulls from Ryan's loose grip. Ryan stares at him confused for a second before ignoring it and continuing to talk. "Your friend Jon," Fuck, Brendon thinks. His eyes scan the crowd for Jon, and he looks like he is about to piss himself with how much he is laughing. Yea, we'll just see whose laughing later Brendon thinks.

"Told us you have fashion problems and by the look of things" Ryan slightly pushes the guitar to Brendon's side, exposing his tight t-shirt that rides up slightly, exposing his hips and his tight tight jeans. "You need our help"

Brendon just stands there, scandalized and holds back the urge to punch this Ryan guy in the face. He balls his hands into fists and clenches his jaw and nods quickly. 

***

Brendon sits on one of the chairs, next to Jon while waiting for Spencer and Ryan to emerge from wherever the fuck they are. He hasn't said a word since the coffee house and Jon hasn't stopped laughing. Brendon feels like he is about to pop a blood vessel with the way he has been holding his fists tightly and clenching his jaw.  
When Ryan and Spencer finally enter the room, Brendon crosses his arms and shoots them a glare, if looks could kill Ryan and Spencer would be dead. They both sit across from them, next to them is a large flat screen tv, and Brendon knows what its for, there will be videos of him wearing 'ugly' clothing walking around random places and-

Wait.

Wait.

"Do you guys fucking stalk people?" Brendon suddenly says, pointing to the still black TV set.

Ryan looks shocked at the out burst and Spencer just chuckles slightly, while Jon bursts out laughing.

"Fuck you Jon this is not fucking funny!" Brendon says, rubbing the palms of his hands against his eyes.

"Yea it is Brendon, you have horrible fashion sense and-" He can't even finish the sentence as he begins to laugh again. Spencer joins in and Ryan still looks awkward, as if he doesn't know what to do. He honestly doesn't, a participant on the show has never been ungrateful, they've all been happy to have been chosen and have free money for good clothes but Brendon obviously doesn't want that.

"You know what? No" Brendon continues standing up, glaring at Spencer and Jon, completely ignoring Ryan and his dumbfounded expression. "I don't need this. I'm- I'm a man" He flexes his twig arm, which only makes Jon laugh harder, crying. Seriously how is he not hyperventilating now, Brendon would be.

"I don't care about fashion. I don't have money for what you consider 'good' clothes and I don't even care to dress like either of you" Brendon points to Spencer and Ryan, looking at their clothes in disgust. "All you guys do is go to people who mostly can't afford what you consider to be fashion, dish on everything they do wear, throw their clothes away and force them to buy new clothes. Of course they all love themselves at the end but that's only because you drown them in piles of compliments that you're getting paid to say. I don't want anything to do with that. I'm perfectly fucking happy the way I look now and I don't need two fake show hosts to change anything about me" Brendon finishes his rant, breathe slightly ragged from yelling. He stomps to the door and opens it, before walking out completely and turns around and looks directly at Ryan "Your scarves are so fucking ugly and stupid. Stop wearing them, the 70's are over."

Brendon exits and goes to do some manly things, like buy a sports car, go shopping at fucking home depot and build a deck. What fucking ever.  
***

Ryan sits in his dressing room, looking at his scarves and frowning at himself, of course he's had people blow up on him before but they've all been old women and they never talked about his scarves. Ryan likes his scarves, thank you very much. But Brendon seemed honestly annoyed about the whole show which upset Ryan. This show is all that Ryan has, all he has ever cared about. 

Even though Brendon insulted Ryan, Ryan still believes in second chances. He also really, really wants to do an episode with a man because he doesn't want this show to only be females. Not that he doesn't like working with females because he does honestly, he just wants to work with somebody with the same fashion sense as him. Maybe Brendon was pretty adorable when he was ranting too, Ryan thinks. With his arms flailing while he talked and when he pouted when Jon continued to laugh at him through his speech. Not that Ryan noticed his lips or anything.

So when he gets a knock on his door, a producer telling him that Spencer and Jon talked to Brendon and got him to be willing to do the show after a serious conversation, Ryan tried his hardest to ignore the past comments Brendon made and walks into the small room. He also ignores the way his heart picks up slightly when Brendon looks directly at him- expression still slightly guarded, like he doesn't fully trust Ryan yet, or ever will.

"Uhm, I'm glad you came back Brendon" Ryan says, in a small voice

"Yea, no thanks to you Mr. Neckerchief"

Ryan frowns and pulls at his scarf self consciously before nodding in the direction of the camera and putting on his best TV- smile although Spencer can tell its 100% fake. "Hello Brendon! Now, we've been tracking your fashion lately to get a better idea of what it is you wear on a daily basis and, as you can see" Ryan points to the screen, showing a video of Brendon at a del taco wearing lime green sneakers, dark wash jeans that look like they're painted onto his legs that are rolled up to his knees and a tight white t-shit that rides up exposing the skin below his belly button.

"Is this how you usually dress when you go out normally?" Ryan asks  
Brendon lets out a slight huff of annoyance and nods "I don't see anything wrong with it, it's not like I was going anywhere special, I was at a del taco and was only in the building for about five minutes." Brendon defends his outfit, honestly seeing it a perfectly casual normal outfit to wear outside for a bit of time.

"Well, you can still be fashionable without really going anywhere." Spencer adds, eyes darting between Ryan and Brendon "Fashion isn't about where you go or how other people will see you. It's all about how you think of yourself."

Ryan smiles at Spencer, then looks over to Brendon, his head nods slowly as if trying to think of something. "I like the way I look, I don't think I need to change. I'm just a causal person. I don't need think I need this honestly" Brendon says, with pleading eyes.

Spencer just smirks and faces the camera "Well, we think you need it. That's why we will see you in New York!"

Brendon chokes.


	2. Chapter 2

Brendon paces across his apartment, looking at his clothes that have been thrown around his room. He knows he has to take his closet with him but there is no fucking way he is throwing his clothes away, fuck that. Some of his clothes have sentimental value. Like his Dinosaur Jr. shirt, he bought that the same night his parents kicked him out, the first thing he actually bought on his own. His plaid vest, the one he wore when he finally gathered the courage to ask Audrey out, even though the relationship ended four months later he still thinks of the memory fondly.

So no thank you, Brendon is not throwing away any of his clothes. But, now that he looks at them, he can donate some. He smiles to himself as he starts folding up some of his older t-shirts, the ones that don't fit him anymore, the ones that his mom bought for him for church and the one's that belonged to his ex- boyfriend.

After he has sorted out his clothes, his door opens and Jon comes in smiling happily at Brendon, his expression seems glazed over and he has that look like he-

"Dude you just got laid" Brendon says, taking in Jon's appearance, bright red, swollen lips. Shirt tucked lazily into his pants and pants slightly rolled at the bottom.

Jon nods and runs a hand through his hair "Got to say goodbye to Spencer properly" He grins happily and plops down onto Brendon's chair, pushing a pile of clothes to the side "Why don't you have any clothes packed? You're supposed to be leaving tomorrow morning, right?"

Brendon nods, distracted, reading his plane ticket "Yea, shit, 10:30? Why so early?"

Jon just shrugs, flipping through one of Brendon's magazines "I don't know dude, but have fun with that jet lag."

Brendon groans and flops down onto his bed "What did you want anyway?"

Jon puts down the magazine and turns to face Brendon "Bren, I'm here to tell you to not act like an asshole."

"No I-" Brendon begins, but Jon cuts him off.

"I'm serious B. This is their job you know? They take it seriously, I mean. At least Ryan does, I talked to him a bit after we finished recording yesterday and he is a nice guy despite what you think."

Brendon sits up an crosses his arms "I don't like him" He says defensively.

"I don't give a fuck. He is a nice guy." 

"Why don't you just have sex with him then?" Brendon says, annoyed and throws his arms up in the air.

"Sorry, I got eyes for Spencer, have you seen his hips? Fuck when we were doing it he-"

"No, no I don't wanna know!" Brendon yells, placing the palms of his hands against his ears and closing his eyes, singing random songs out loud.

***

After Jon eventually left, Brendon decided he should get some rest since he was going to be in fucking New York tomorrow. He lays down in his bed, and rolls around uncomfortably before propping his head up with a pillow and staring into his dark bedroom, the only light coming from the small window to the left of his bed.

He lets his mind wander and thinks about fashion and tight jeans, then fitted shirts and vests and fucking scarfs. Seriously, Brendon thinks, Ryan and his stupid scarfs. Brendon just wants to throw them all away. If Brendon has to throw away his 'hideous' clothes, then why shouldn't Ryan have to?

Because its fashion.

Brendon narrows his eyes and mentally tells his brain to shut up, but his thoughts are still filled with images of long scarfs, knotted neckerchiefs. 

"Stupid fucking Ryan Ross and his dumbass scarfs" Brendon mumbles as he sits up and rolls out of bed, walking to his bathroom connected to his bedroom. He looks at the clock as he walks past, noting that it's only 1 am. Brendon blinks quickly as he turns on the bathroom light, the bulb blinding him for a minute before his eyes adjust to the brightness. He walks in front of the mirror and stares at himself before turning the faucet on and splashing water against his face.

He grabs a towel next to the sink and rubs his face gently and then looks at himself again, the bags under his eyes not as visible as they were before. He uses the toilet quickly before washing his hands and turning the light off, clambering off to his bed.

Yet, the minute his head hits the pillow he still thinks about Ryan and scarfs. Then his mind begins to drift to pulling off Ryan's scarfs and pushing him down onto a bed and using said scarf to tie him to the post and watching him squirm and moan as- 

No.

No. No.

Brendon isn't thinking about the asshole who thinks he knows how to dress everybody. He has been watching that show every once in a while since he doesn't get many channels on his cable and he knows that Ryan thinks he knows every damn thing about fashion.

But, the idea of him not having any control as Brendon lines himself up after stretching Ryan hastily and pushing in, one quick movement and Ryan moaning out Brendon's name and just-

"Fuck" Brendon grits his teeth and reaches a hand down, pushing his boxers down to his ankles before kicking them off fully. He is almost shocked for a moment as he feels how hard he is from just thinking of tying Ryan down and giving up control, trusting Brendon with his body.

Brendon wraps his hand fully around his erection and starts to stroke himself quickly, images of Ryan twisting and squirming as Brendon pounds into him, the headboard banging against the wall in time with Brendon's thrusts.

Brendon moans out loudly and lifts his hips up into his fist and sets up a quick rhythm. Brendon pulls his had off his dick and brings it up to his mouth, tongue tracing over his palm, his moans turn even more desperate as he begins to stroke himself faster. 

He closes his eyes tightly and bites on his lip to stop any more noises. The room is quiet besides the quick ruffle of sheets, the small slick noises of Brendon's hand sliding over his dick and his short ragged breaths.

Brendon feels himself getting closer and strokes faster, feeling a hot pool of warmth filling his lower stomach quickly, he gives one more quick tug and moans out what sounds like Ryan's name but tries to ignore it. 

He falls asleep almost instantly.

***

Ryan walks through the studio, looking through the rows of clothing that has been set up. Most of their main designers had to go out to buy new male sample clothing for examples. He looks through the racks and tries to imagine Brendon in them. He looks at the slightly baggy jeans and shakes his head. What were they thinking? Ryan thinks to himself, didn't they see Brendon's ass? No way will that show off his figure. Ryan freezes and narrows his eyes. He wasn't thinking about Brendon's ass. Nope.

 

Ryan continues his walk and pauses when he sees Spencer sitting on the couch in the lounge, his phone pressed to his ear. He's smiling mischievously and keeps looking around every few seconds as to make sure nobody is around. "Yea, I'm alone." pause. "Fuck I can't stop thinking about you either" another pause. "God yes, the next time I see you I'm going to ride you so fucking hard."

Ryan's jaw drops.

After a few more minutes of 'dirty talk' Spencer hangs up with a promise of 'soon' and Ryan walks up to him and taps him on the shoulder. Spencer jumps and says "Shit" and turns to face Ryan. "Oh uhm hey Ryan."

Ryan just stares at Spencer's awkwardly guilty face and his phone clutched into his hand like its his most prize possession and begins to chuckle slightly "I didn't know you had a boyfriend" He teases.

Spencer glares at Ryan slightly "He isn't my boyfriend, we're just. I don't know, fooling around. Don't look at me like that! At least I'm getting some. When was the last time you had sex Ryan, huh?"

Ryan frowns and mumbles something quietly. "What was that?" Spencer says "I couldn't understand, but it kinda sounded like you said five years." 

Ryan frowns harder and Spencer just pats him on the back "Who were you talking to anyway?"

Spencer grins "Jon."

"The client? Is that even allowed Spencer? You could get in trouble!"

Spencer just shakes his head "No, probably not. Who cares anyway? Me and Jon are both adults and if we want to have sex then we will have sex." He smiles down at his phone "He's actually kinda cool you know."

Ryan just changes the topic, love and lust not wanting to be his main point of view when Brendon gets here soon. "Have you heard about Brendon today yet?"

"Yea, his plane landed a few hours ago. He's at his hotel right now and one of our limos just went to get him like twenty minutes ago."

Ryan winces slightly "He won't like a limo, doesn't seem like the type. We should of just sent a taxi."

"And since when have you cared about a client's transportation preference?" Spencer questions with a cocked eyebrow.

"I don't I just-" Ryan begins but Spencer starts to laugh quietly "Hey, fuck you."

"No, I just. Ryan c'mon you don't even know him that well and you already like him a lot, I can tell."

Ryan glares at his best friend "At least I didn't sleep with him within one day of knowing him."

Spencer just shrugs it off and says "I repeat, at least I'm getting some. And me and Jon both know what we want. You and Brendon on the other hand, I'm not so sure but from what I can remember he isn't to fond of you." Spencer pauses and looks at Ryan's outfit before bursting out laughing "Oh my god, you're not wearing a scarf because he said he didn't like them!"

Ryan's face turns a light pink and he shakes his head quickly "No, I just didn't want to wear a scarf, fuck you!"

"You've never not worn a scarf during an episode so keep telling yourself you're not into this boy."

Ryan stalks out of the room, grumbling to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how long this story is going to be, I have a good amount written but I'm not sure how I want to end it. Anyway, thanks for reading, it means a lot to me!


	3. Chapter 3

Brendon walks out of his hotel room after getting a call from the front desk telling him that his ride is there. When he exits the hotel he prays to just see a taxi or some other random car, but no of course not, there is a fucking limo there. Brendon obviously always dreamed of limos and expensive cars but he wanted that as a musician, not for being on a crappy TLC show with two asshole hosts. No thanks.

However, he still enters the limo and manages to keep his excitement down because still, limo. He already knows he isn't going to make this easy on them, he didn't bring any clothes to throw away like he was asked to do because honestly, why throw away clothes when other people can use them? Assholes.

So he exits the limo, empty handed and gets escorted into the building by a manager. Along the way he finds out that the managers name is Pete and if he should get hungry to just ask for Patrick and he'll 'hook you up'. Brendon also tries to not freak out when he notices the girls with clipboards not-so-secretly check him out with no shame.

Brendon hasn't found a single girl attractive since he met Audrey, and that relationship obviously ended badly with Audrey cheating on him with a girl named Jac and Brendon cheating on her with a guy named Shane. He ended things with Shane and Audrey when they thought they should do a foursome. No. Just, No.

He walks through the door Pete directed him into, telling him that Ryan and Spencer would be around soon to talk before they being recording the next segment of the episode where Brendon is supposed to try on some of his clothes and have them thrown away. Too bad he didn't bring any clothes. He sits down on one of the couches awkwardly, looking around at the awards for the show placed in a glass box connected to the wall and the framed pictures of popular contestants and many of Spencer and Ryan.

He almost doesn't hear the door open while staring at the pictures, but he turns his head and see's Ryan walking in almost shyly. Ryan closes the door behind himself and sits on the sofa across from Brendon and clears his throat before speaking "So, Brendon. I know you don't really like me but we kinda have to get along. For the show, I mean. It's just going to be two and a half weeks of recording then we don't have to see each other again."

Brendon finds it awkward to be talking to Ryan after he maybe jerked off thinking about him. Thank god he isn't wearing a scarf though, Brendon might of got a boner, that would of been awful.

"So I see you're not wearing a scarf. Took my advice, did you?" Brendon smirks and points to Ryan's naked neck, where the collar of his flowered button-up shirt is popped up slightly.

Ryan rubs his neck, feeling it weird to not have a scarf on and nods "Yea, you were right I guess," he chuckles slightly "I mean, not that I think there stupid and ugly but I do need to change up once in a while."

"I don't believe that, after I'm gone and you've forgotten about me you're just going to go back to you're scarfs, there like your thing."

"My thing?" Ryan questions with a small smile "I guess you could say that. I never used to like them but once I really got into fashion I just, always started to wear them," He ends with a shrug.

Brendon just nods and looks down at his hands. Its quiet for a few minutes before Ryan speaks up again "I never got the chance to tell you at the coffee shop but, I really liked your song."

Brendon looks up quickly at that, "Really?"

Ryan smiles shyly and ruffles his hair slightly "Yea, that line, 'I know the world's a broken bone, but melt your headaches call it home' I loved that line."

Brendon actually beams at Ryan. Ryan feels his stomach flip and he intertwines his fingers together "Wow, I mean uhm thanks, seriously. I never get complimented on my music."

Ryan feels slightly confused now, Brendon is crazy talented and anybody who can't tell is obviously not the smartest, "Why not? You have an amazing voice and perfect lyrics to go along with it."

Brendon just shakes his head, still smiling brightly "You give me too much credit Ryan Ross."

Ryan opens his mouth and he's about to say something- another compliment Brendon thinks, before the door opens and Pete stands in the door frame looking between them. "Ok, were all ready to start recording, come out when you're ready," He gives them a quick smile before walking out of the room saying something about Patrick being the master of brownies.

"Ok right" Ryan says after Pete has gone and stands up, "Where did you put the clothes at you brought from home?"

"I didn't."

"Ok we just need to get them and- what?" Ryan turns to stare at Brendon.

"I didn't bring any clothes for you to just throw away," Brendon says simply "I donated clothes that didn't fit me."

"But you have to try them on and we talk about them and gives you tips to change you style! God, have you ever watched the show?" 

"Sometimes." Brendon replies, shrugging up his shoulders slightly. "I don't like you on the show so no, not often. I already told you, I don't need you to tell me how to change my style."

Ryan groans and rubs his face with his hands "Fuck, Brendon why are you being so difficult?" He snaps.

Brendon narrows his eyes and stands up, "Because maybe this show is complete bullshit and I don't need to be here," He says before storming out of the room and slamming the door behind him. 

Ryan puts his face in his hands and groans loudly before walking out of the room and calling out, "Can we get some people to go to goodwill?"

***

The clothes rack was filled with clothing all bought for less than twenty dollars and Brendon would never wear any of it. Even though he didn't bring any of his actual clothing, they could of at least bought something he might really wear. But no, they bought random clothes that would make Brendon look homeless. He actually felt homeless just looking at the crap lined up on the rack. Especially that shirt that said "My grandma is #1" written in pink font with a giant foam finger stitched onto the back.

He sat in a lounge chair off to the side while people filled the room, most with clipboards and ear pieces. They were setting up the cameras and checking the lighting. Ryan and Spencer were off getting their makeup done -when told he needed to put on makeup, Brendon just laughed in the mans face and walked off. Of course Brendon did wear makeup on his own terms, but he only wore eyeliner. He didn't want other people caking makeup on him.

Brendon leaned back in his chair and ducked his head when he saw somebody walking near him. The guy looked a little bit older then Brendon and he had a happy, approachable expression. He also looked like the only person in the whole building besides Brendon to be wearing somewhat casual clothes, wearing a black t-shirt with a jean jacket and gray pants with a fedora.

When he reached Brendon, he sat down next to him and stuck out his hand-still wearing that friendly expression, and said "Hi, you must be Brendon, I'm Patrick, I'm the caterer," Brendon smiled at Patrick and shook his hand up and down a few times before letting go and his hand fell back into his lap. 

"Nice to meet you Patrick, or as Pete said I should call you 'The Master Of Brownies."

Patrick just laughed and adjusted his fedora that sat perfectly on top of his head. "Yea, he always comes up with names like that for me."

"How long have you been working with this show?" Brendon asked.

"Well, I worked at a restaurant for a few years before a few of the cooks were asked to make food for a special this show was doing. I met Pete when we came to drop off the food and he just, I don't even know" Patrick said shaking his head slightly and smiling fondly, probably thinking of the memory "He said they needed somebody to make food on set and asked me to do it. That was two years ago."

Brendon smiled and nodded "Pete seems like a great guy, kinda hard to handle sometimes." He adds, remembering Pete practically running him through everything when he first got here, pointing out every detail about the building and how recording would work and end up talking about some random story before Brendon directed him back on point.

Patrick nods "I know right? He's kinda amazing bust also super protective over me. Like a few weeks ago, one of our tech guys told me my cupcakes were too dry and Pete cursed him out for ten minutes before firing him. Poor Brent."

Brendon laughs and opens his mouth to say something but is cut short when a short girl walks up to them "Hi. Brendon? We're about to start recording the next segment so you can just come and wait for Spencer and Ryan."  
Brendon nods and says bye to Patrick before walking off with the girl- her name tag says Greta, and talking idly with her before he sees Ryan walking up to them. 

"Brendon," Ryan gives a short nod to Greta before waving her off. She gives a genuine smile to Brendon before turning to Ryan and her smile turns more forced before she walks off, talking into her walkie- talkie.

"So, when this starts you are going to walk into the room and me and Spencer will be here," He points to the spot next to the clothes rack before continuing "Then we will talk about your clothes-"

"You mean the cheap, ugly goodwill clothes? I would never wear those things. Did you see the grandma sweater!?" Brendon cuts in.

"Well, since you didn't bring your own clothes, we had to improvise. Now all of America will know your grandma is number one" Ryan replies, a devious smirk playing on his lips.

Brendon scowls and crosses his arms "'All of America'?" He deadpans "Please, the only people who watch this show are exactly like the people who are on it. Old soccer moms."

Ryan glares "No, a lot of people watch this show, you even said that you watch it."

"Only when nothing else is on," Brendon defends. "Honestly I never pay attention, it's just background noise."

"My show is a lot more then background noise," Ryan snaps, posture getting more defensive.

Brendon just laughs, sounding more amused then anything else. "Keep telling yourself that, maybe one day it will be true," and with that Brendon turns and walks off, heading over to where he is supposed to be standing when the cameras finally turn on.

Ryan feels a stupid hot, wet force in the back of his eyes and blinks quickly, resisting the urge to wipe at his eyes since his makeup was just done. He just stands in his spot and when Spencer comes on and they start recording, he pretends nothing happened.

***

Police sirens blast past his apartment, driving quickly down the street and turning, the sound slowly becoming a more distance murmur before Ryan's apartment is filled with silence again. He lies in his bed, the only light coming from the TV he left on in his living room and the only sound being the faint hum from the fridge.

Ryan turns onto his side and thinks back to the days shoot, forcing Brendon into three different outfits, which looked absolutely hideous on him. Each outfit caused Brendon to flush deeply when he walked into the 360 mirror room and try to avoid looking directly at himself. However, when people joked lightly about the outfits Brendon would laugh along, even adding his own comments every few minutes. Every time Brendon made a comment, he would look over in Ryan's direction, as if to see Ryan's reaction to Brendon's words.

Ryan never reacted.

It's not that Ryan doesn't like Brendon, he just can't stand his constant mocking of Ryan's clothing choices and the show in general. Ryan takes this show very seriously, ever since he got into fashion he's always wanted to help other people by showing them you don't have to dress for others, but to make yourself feel great.

Ryan usually does feel great about what he does wear and never gives a shit about what people say, because he has read some comments online talking about how he shouldn't even be on this show because he hardly knows what fashion is. But, for some reason, Brendon's words seem to hit deep. Nobody has ever made Ryan feel self- conscious about his appearance. Nobody has ever made Ryan feel like Brendon Urie does.

They're not going to be filming tomorrow. Him and Spencer are just going to be showing Brendon a few places where they will be recording at for the next segment. Shopping. Ryan has been looking forward to this ever since Spencer first showed him Brendon's profile sent from Jon.

He tried not to spend all of his time thinking about Brendon, but honestly, it's hard not to be thinking about Brendon. His big brown eyes, always searching for something and his pouty lips, which are turned upwards most of the time. Except when he is talking to Ryan. 

Whenever Ryan comes near Brendon, Brendon just frowns instantly, like seeing Ryan is the last thing he wants to do.

Ryan sits up in his bed and looks at the clock on his night stand, the green display of letters shining in the dark, 4:37. He pulls his cellphone from the stand and goes into his contacts and scrolls until he see's Spencer's number and hits the green 'call' button.

After three rings Spencer picks up, sounding fully awake, "Ryan? What are you doing up this late?"

Ryan plays with the string at the corner of his comforter, "Couldn't sleep, why are you up this late?"

"I was just talking to Jon," the grin is obvious in Spencer's voice and Ryan rolls his eyes and huffs out a chuckle.

"Are you guys just fucking around then?" Ryan questions.

"I mean at first it was just, yea. But I don't know we've been talking almost every night since we first slept together and he's kinda perfect. I don't know, I don't wanna sound like a girl or anything."

"At least one of us has our love life figured out," Ryan mutters quietly, but Spencer still catches it. Of course he catches it.

"Still secretly pinning over Brendon?"

"What!" Ryan exclaims, "Brendon is the rudest person I've ever met! He constantly makes fun of my clothes and I just can't stand him. I can't have a nice conversation with him for more then five minutes without him freaking out about fashion not being important! I can never like a person who doesn't take fashion seriously! Don't you know me at all Spencer?" 

Spencer laughs, amused. "Ryan c'mon, I can see the look you give him. The one where you're trying to make it obvious you don't like him but it so obvious that you do like him. I heard William is taking bets on how long before you two fuck."

Ryan gasps, affronted and disbelieving, "My own crew? Well then! I see who my true friends are!"

Ryan can hear Spencer sigh through the phone and can imagine him running a hand through his hair "Listen Ryan, why don't you make this easier on yourself and just talk to him? Like, have a serious conversation that doesn't involve fashion or his lack thereof."

Ryan groans and nods, even though Spencer can't see it. "Yea, whatever fine. I'll try. But he is just so-"

"Yea, yea I know," Spencer cuts in. "Lets just try to sleep okay? Busy day tomorrow."

They both say goodbye before hanging up and Ryan throws his phone to his nightstand lightly before curling back in his blankets and falling asleep quickly.


	4. Chapter 4

Ryan arrives at H&M at 10:30 exactly and browses through the men section while waiting for Brendon and Spencer to show up. He usually likes this no camera day because it gives him a chance to actually talk to the client and get to know them personally and find out things they actually like and don't like when it comes to their fashion taste. Today however, he is quiet nervous to see Brendon.

Him and Brendon didn't talk at all after the shoot yesterday, just short glances. No emotion, just glances.  
After a few minutes of browsing, his phone vibrates and he clicks the message icon to open up the message that just arrived, the title says 'Have fun' along with the message that says 'Decided not to come today, you will get one-on-one bonding time with Brendon, have fun!'

Ryan glares at the message from Spencer and sends back 'Hate you' quickly and gets a response of 'I love you too' before hearing his name called.

"Spencer? Ryan?" Brendon says upon entering the store. He freezes when he sees Ryan clutching his phone, alone. He slowly makes his way over to Ryan, hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets and staring straightforward. "Hi Ryan."

Ryan does his best to ignore the flutter in his stomach and nods back quickly, "Hey Brendon."

Brendon scans the area around them quickly before his eyes land back on Ryan, "So, where is Spencer?"

Ryan winces slightly before replying, "He had, um other business to attend to this morning. Guess it's just us. If you're fine with that I mean."

Brendon laughs and runs one of his hands through his dark hair and nods, "I guess we don't have any other choice do we?"

"Right okay, so you don't have to try anything on today," Ryan begins, pointing to a few pants hanging on the wall "Since there aren't any cameras with us, but it would be best if you did, so we don't have to spend too much time here tomorrow when we start recording again."

"I always knew you guys went shopping before you actually showed it on TV," Brendon muses, running his fingers along the material of a shirt on a rack "No way could you find clothes that actually looked that good on people in the first try."

"You don't think I could?" Ryan challenges, raising an eyebrow.

Brendon turns to look at Ryan, his eyes taking in Ryan's flowery pattern button up shirt, light brown tie and light gray pants.

Ryan can feel Brendon's eyes running up and down his body. He coughs awkwardly and rubs the back of his neck, feeling his face heat up slightly.

Brendon laughs at Ryan's sudden awkwardness, "Sorry Ross, did I make you nervous?" He asks, with an innocent smile and hands clasped tightly in front of him. Ryan shakes his head and clears his throat and points to a few shirts next to them "Why don't you try these on?"

Brendon looks at a few of the shirts-a disgusting pale yellow color that looks like vomit- and makes a face and shakes his head "Look at the color, Ryan! Gross!" Ryan laughs and puts his hand on the small of Brendon's back, leading him further into the store. Ryan doesn't noticed the blush on Brendon's face, however.

***

"Oh my god did you see that woman!" Brendon exclaims, bumping his shoulder into Ryan's as they exit H&M, "She was like the size of a minivan, how the hell did she even fit into a size 8? And oh my god she wanted a size 6! I feel for the people who have to work there" Brendon sighs, placing a hand over his heart, "That's why I would never work in retail."

The shopping experience started off as nothing but awkward, but after about thirty minutes of Ryan pointing out clothing and Brendon mocking them, they finally found a common ground over a vintage style shirt that read 'I Died On The Oregon Trail' in bold red letters. Things were easier after that, conversation flowed from video games to friends back home and mostly music.

They both seemed to forget that they were there for a reason until Ryan mentioned when he knew he wanted to work in fashion for a living. Brendon just nodded slightly and said he saw more of Ryan then just fashion.  
Ryan looks at Brendon and feels as smile tug at the corner of his lips, "I used to work in retail." He says quietly.

Brendon gasps, "You? The all knowing fashion master Ryan Ross?" he mocks teasingly.

Ryan nods and laughs slightly, "Yea, it was awful, seriously. I had woman like her all the damn time, they would get mad at me if something didn't fit right. Like I can control how a shirt fits or how much they weigh." He rolls his eyes.

"What happened when you couldn't help them?" Brendon asks as they cross the street heading towards a small cafe.

"They usually threw whatever they were going to buy at me and complain how useless I was before storming out of the store, vowing never to shop there again. They always came back when we had big sales though."

"Poor Ryan Ross, getting shown-up by forty old moms trying to look young again," Brendon teases again, bumping his shoulders into Ryan's once more before they entered the cafe and ordered.

They sat down at a table across from each other and it was quiet in the restaurant for a while, small murmurs of conversation between co-workers and a little radio playing some local indie artist filling the silence. After taking a drink of his coffee, Brendon broke the silence "So, I guess I should apologize," He begins.

"Apologize?" Ryan questions, lifting his gaze to meet Brendon's.

"For being an ass," He clarifies, pausing to take another sip of coffee before continuing, "I thought you were just some douche bag who only cared about fashion and judging people. But as it turns out, I'm the one who judges people here more." He frowns for a minute, and tugs on his hair a bit.

"Yea, I don't know why you affected me so much," Ryan mumbles quietly.

Brendon looks up quickly, "I affected you?" he questions, looking shocked.

Ryan lets out a humorless chuckle, "Yea, fuck I don't know. I usually don't care what people say about me, but you, I couldn't forget the stuff you said. It wasn't even that bad, I've heard a lot worse in my profession."

Brendon frowns again, looking more sad, "Wow, Ryan I really am sorry then."

"No, It's okay, you were right to think that stuff about me. Hell, sometimes I think that stuff about me."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Ryan begins, "Sometimes I watch my show on TV, not an ego thing or anything but if its on I'll just put it on and watch it. I don't even think the person on the screen is me sometimes. It seems like a different person. Like, I'll see myself talking about how important it is to always be fashionable and I'll just be at home wearing and old band t-shirt and worn out pajama pants."

Brendon tilts his head to the side "You don't like the person you've become?"

"Maybe? I'm not sure. I honestly love this show so much, I haven't thought of doing anything else for a long time."

"Have you ever thought about doing something else though?"

"Writing maybe?" Ryan takes a sip of his coffee that is slightly warmer now , "I used to write a lot of short stories back in high school." His lips quirk up slightly, "I once sent one of my stories for this stupid magazine my school had every month and when it got in for best writers of that year I was so excited I cried."

"I could totally see you being a writer," Brendon smiles fondly at Ryan, "I can picture you wearing a cute little cardigan, spending all your time locked in your room, typing away on a computer, only leaving your house for food and random trips to the library."

Ryan notices Brendon's eyes glaze over slightly, like he is picturing Ryan in that life. Ryan would be lying if he said he wasn't picturing the exact thing in his head.

***

The moonlight shines down on the pavement, shining in the puddles on the ground. It's quiet, the only noises being the slap of shoes against the sidewalk and the slight ruffle of leaves from the random gust of wind. Ryan stares straight ahead, trying not to notice how close Brendon is to him, but it's not like he minds honestly. Brendon is humming quietly under his breath, a song that sounds similar to the one from the car commercial that has been on TV recently.

Ryan and Brendon spent the day together, talking and walking through random stores. Buying ugly clothing and actually stopping at a library where Ryan thought about the possibility of one of his own books adorning the shelf.

They were now walking towards Brendons hotel, just a street away from Ryan's apartment. Their fingers lightly brushing as they walked closer to the building.

When they reached the main doors, Brendon stopped and looked at Ryan expectantly, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow when we actually shop," Ryan said with a small smile.

"I think today was more actual shopping then tomorrow will be," Brendon said, lifting up a shopping bag with random objects inside and laughing.

"Right," Ryan laughed and rubbed the back of his neck slightly, "Uhm, I actually had a lot of fun today."  
A smile grew on Brendon's face as he stared at Ryan "Yeah? Me too. I haven't done this in a while."

"Done what?"

Brendon just shrugged, still smiling, "Had another person to actually talk to about random shit. You're not what I thought you were," He mumbles out the last sentence quietly.

"What do you mean by that?" Ryan asks.

"Uhm I just," Brendon frowns slightly, trying to figure a way to explain what he meant, "I'm not sure, when I see you on TV you just look like an asshole and you're just, different in person."

Ryan feels his stomach flip stupidly and the sides of his lips quirk up slightly "That's a good thing right?"  
Brendon's reply is a laugh and a small nod. "Well, it's getting late" Ryan says, "I did have fun today, so I'll see you tomorrow."

Brendon's eyes don't leave Ryan's as he takes a tentative step forward- in Ryan's space. "Brendon-?" Ryan begins but Brendon puts a finger to his lips.

"I'm sorry if I'm reading this situation wrong but, this is too perfect and too much of a cliche moment for me not to kiss you right now," Brendon whispers.

Ryan's eyes widen slightly and he doesn't have time to think before Brendon replaces his finger with his lips. They both stand there frozen and slightly awkward for a moment before Brendon slowly pulls back and mumbles out a "sorry" before he turns for the door. Ryan quickly shakes his head and reaches out for Brendon, pulling him back in front of him and connecting their lips again.

He feels Brendon sigh against his lips and wrap his arms around Ryan's neck, the bags in his hands hitting Ryans upper back lightly. Ryan places both of his hands on Brendon hips and digs his nails into the exposed skin making Brendon gasp slightly. The kiss was innocent, no biting or harsh breaths into each other's mouths, just lips against lips.

After a few moments Brendon pulls back, a shy smile on his face, "So that wasn't planned." he says, chuckling.  
Ryan raises an eyebrow, "You complaining, Urie?" he teases, pinching Brendon's side gently, making Brendon giggle. 

"As much as I'd like to spend the night making out with you in front of your hotel, it is late and we have a busy day tomorrow." Ryan says, leaning his forehead against Brendon's. 

Brendon just nods and presses another kiss to Ryans lips, because they're just right there. "Okay," he say quietly because he feels like anything above a whisper would ruin the moment.

Ryan kisses Brendon once more before taking a step back, his arms falling to his sides. "Goodnight Brendon," he says before turning around and walking down the street. 

Brendon mentally does a victory dance and watches Ryan's retreating form for a moment before heading into the hotel.

***  
Ryan gets home about ten minutes later and the first thing he does is rush to his phone to tell Spencer about the kiss. He instantly feels like a teenage girl as he hears the first ring though, but Spencer picks up so he doesn't have time to end the call before it goes through. "You're calling late, spend all day with Brendon?" 

"Yea, we just hung out and stuff," Ryan tries to reply as casually as he can, shrugging his shoulders even though Spencer can't see them.

"Okay well its like almost midnight, what were you guys doing all day?"

"Well" Ryan begins, a small smile finding its way onto his face "First we met up at H&M and we looked around at clothes for an hour or two, at first it was like, super awkward because we weren't that comfortable around each other, but then we found a random shirt we both liked and then we just started talking, about everything and nothing. Then, we went to this small cafe down the street and he apologized for being rude! It was so sweet of him." Ryan's glad his phone doesn't have a cord because he knows his finger would be twirling around it if it did.

"Then, we just went to random stores and bought weird stuff, then we walked back to his hotel together and he uhm" Ryan pauses, trying to make sure Spencer is still listening because he's been pretty quiet on his end.

"Yea? What did he do?" Spencer says instantly after Ryan's pause.

"He kissed me Spence, he just walked up to me and was all cute and shy about it, then I just kinda froze, 'cause I wasn't expecting it ya, know? And when I didn't do anything he thought I didn't want him to kiss me and he backed up and started to walk away but I just pulled him back to me and kissed him." Ryan sighs and lays down on his bed, stretching out his long limbs, "It was perfect Spence, you have no idea."

The line was silent for a few moments before Spencer burst out laughing, "Oh my- you're such. What the fuck Ryan?"

Ryan frowned, not understanding what was so funny about this. Spencer should be happy for him! "Why are you laughing?" 

"Because, you sound like a 13 year old girl, oh my god!" Spencer choked out between fits of giggles.

Ryan just frowned harder and said, "I'm hanging up now." Finger hovering over the 'end call' button, he heard Spencer call out "Okay, okay, damn!" Ryan rolled his eyes and pressed the phone against his ear again, "If you're just going to laugh at me I don't want to hear it." He stated simply.

He could hear Spencer sigh before he said, "Yea fine, okay. But seriously, you did sound like a girl when you first started talking."

"I know."

"I was right." 

"What?" Ryan furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion before he realized what Spencer was referring to, "Yea well, it's just, there's something different about him."

"I know what you mean," Spencer replied softly, Ryan knew Spencer was thinking about Jon.

"Jeez Spence, what are these contestants doing to us?"

"Jon isn't a contestant!"

"Client," Ryan corrects himself, "But still, we meet these two guys and they both just-ugh."

"Well I thought Jon was just a decent fuck at first, but he's more then that- actually he usually calls me at this time, I should get going."

"Do you actually talk to him every night?"

"Yea, we haven't seen each other in person in like two weeks, you and Brendon see each other everyday."  
"Right but me and Brendon aren't anything all we did was kiss, and of course it was perfect, that's all we've done so I don't really think we're anything."

"Yet!" Spencer proclaimed happily before hanging up. Ryan just rolled his eyes and threw himself back on his bed, snuggling deep in the covers, falling asleep with a cheesy smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back, I hope everybody had a great holiday and new years, mine were slightly uneventful but I've been super busy these past two weeks. I have a bunch of ideas for a few new fic I've been working on and I'm almost done with writing this, so you can expect more things from me in the near future. As always thanks for reading, it means a lot to me!!


	5. Chapter 5

Brendon walks into the studio at an early 6:31, a whole two hours before they are supposed to begin shooting. He was way to happy waking up this morning to question the text that Ryan sent him about the time change at which he needed to come in so he just went along with it. Walking further into the building, he can hear a faint murmur of music coming from the closed office door, light peeking out from the space between the door and floor. 

He pauses when he gets to the door, he thinks about knocking briefly before he decides 'screw it' and just pushes the door open. 

Inside, Ryan is sitting at a computer, his back facing the door, typing furiously with music playing, but it seems to be more background noise then actually listening. Brendon feels his heart speed up slightly as he eye's Ryan's thin frame being hugged tightly by a pale yellow shirt, although the green flowery-pattern pants turn Brendon off a bit, he still looks breath-taking, even from behind.

Ryan pauses then sits up straighter before turning around, a soft smile tugging the corner of his lips when his eyes land on Brendon standing in the door frame. "Hi Brendon, thanks for coming in so early." Brendon just nods so Ryan continues talking, "Um right, I bet you're wondering why I asked you to come in this early."

Brendon nods again, still not taking his eyes off Ryan. "Sit?" Ryan says, nodding his head towards the couch next to the wall. 

Brendon isn't sure what Ryan wants to talk about, but then he mentally slaps himself because obviously he wants to talk about the kiss. Staring at Ryan, Brendon has the overwhelming urge to plop himself on his lap and kiss the fuck out of him, but he manages to repress it as he takes the few steps to the couch and sits down.

"So," Ryan begins, turning around in his computer chair to face Brendon. He crosses his legs and places both of his hands ontop of his knees. "About last night-"

"We kissed." Brendon interjects.

Ryan feels his face flush and he looks down at his hands before clearing his throat and looking back up, "Right, we did. But we can't."

"Why not?" Brendon questions, furrowing his eyebrows together.

"Because this show Brendon, it would be highly inappropriate for me to be dating a contestant." Ryan's talking as if he's already had this planned out in his head, which he probably has, Brendon thinks.

"You make it sound like I'm in school and you're my teacher Ryan." Brendon deadpans. "We're both adults, who cares?"

"This is my job Brendon, I take it seriously."

Brendon stands up, glaring down at Ryan. "God, you're such a prick. I understand this job is important to you, but do you not allow yourself to be happy?"

Ryan stands up to, slightly taller then Brendon and glares back, "Fuck you, i'm not a prick. And who are you to say i'm not happy? You don't even know me!" 

"I've known you for only a few days, but I know you more then anyone else, Ryan. You may fool everybody who watches you on TV, but not me. This isn't even you. Where was the Ryan I was talking to yesterday? Because I want him back."

Ryan glares at Brendon for a moment before surging forward, attaching his lips to Brendon's. This kiss is nothing like their first, it's rough and hard, harsh breaths being released in between kisses, but its hot, fast and just perfect. Brendon responds instantly , his hands flying up to grip and pull at Ryan's hair.

"So..fucking..annoying" Brendon mumbles out, pushing Ryan down onto the couch. Brendon falls ontop of Ryan, their limbs colliding awkwardly and Brendon pulls Ryan's thighs apart with his hands before settling himself between them. They pull apart when their chests begin to burn from lack of oxygen and Brendon leans back on his knees, brings a hand up to cup Ryan's cheek and smiles when Ryan leans into the touch slightly. "Why can't you just let this happen?"

"I-" Ryan begins quietly, "This morning I just got to thinking about how we only have a few more segments to record and once we finish those, we won't see each other anymore." Brendon opens his mouth to interject but Ryan shakes his head and keeps talking. "No Brendon, once we finished recording this episode we won't see each other anymore. You'll go back to Vegas and continue with your music and I'll stay here and continue with the show." Ryan pauses and looks up into Brendon's eyes "We shouldn't get into something that will get us both hurt in the end." He finishes, voice small and vulnerable.

Brendon feels the back of his eyes prickling and his smile- which has long since faded, has turned into a straight, tight line. He nods- a sharp jerk of his head, and pulls his hand back from Ryan's cheek. He does his best to ignore the way his palm feels cold without Ryan's warm skin beneath it.

"You don't know it would work out like that." Brendon mumbles.

"Yes I do, I've seen it happen before." Ryan replies, just as quiet.

Brendon's ears perk up slightly, and he feels his stomach drop, "You've- with another contestant before?"

"No, no!" Ryan is quick to diminish Brendon's thoughts.

"Then what-?" Brendon trails off.

"Spencer. A few years back, our second season there was a girl, Haley, she was one of the few contestants who was the same age as us and. I've never seen Spencer act that way around a girl before. I actually thought they really liked each other but, once she went back to Florida, she never called him back, even though he always tried to get her to talk to him. Spencer was at a pretty low point in his life at that time and he hasn't been in a real relationship since then."

"Jon isn't like that!" Brendon instantly says, knowing that Ryan was probably worrying about how Jon would treat Spencer.

"I know," Ryan smiles shyly.

"Me and Jon are the same Ryan, I. I know whatever we are doing just started yesterday but I don't think of you as a fling. I actually like you Ryan." Brendon says, wincing slightly when he hears his voice choke over the last sentence.

"I'm sorry, I just don't want to end up how Spencer did."

"You won't Ry," Brendon brings up both of his hands to cup Ryan's face again "I wouldn't do that to you."

Ryan just smiles up at Brendon, still nestled between his legs. "I like you too. But can we move? My ass is starting to feel numb." Ryan wiggles his hips to emphasize his point and Brendon laughs and pulls back, pushing Ryan's legs down and adjusting them on the couch until they are laying down facing each other.

"We still have a few hours before the rest of the crew starts showing up." Ryan says, smirking.

"Good, I'm still tired." Brendon says, causing Ryan to raise an eyebrow. "What? You had me get up at fucking ass o'clock in the morning so you could try and break up with me." 

"I wasn't trying to-"

"Yes you were," Brendon pouts and Ryan can't resist pushing himself forward and capturing Brendon's lips within his own.

***

After a few hours of exchanging lazy kisses on the couch, Spencer burst in, mid sentence on the phone and stopped instantly, smirking at how he found Ryan and Brendon. "You guys should be more careful," He said. Brendon shot up instantly, his face flushing even redder and he pulled himself up off of Ryan and flattened down the wrinkles in his shirt. He opened his mouth to form a reply but Spencer just kept talking. "What if I was Pete? You could get into trouble, Ryan."

Ryan just groaned and crossed his legs, the last thing he wanted Spencer to see was the boner he was visibly sporting. He just mumbled a, "Fuck off Spencer," and Spencer laughed his ass off while Brendon said something about going to the bathroom. Ryan instantly knew why, and that knowledge did nothing to help his boner die out.

Spencer smirks again as Brendon leaves the dressing room, walking awkwardly. "Wow, things have really progressed since what you told me last night."

"Shut up," Ryan says, blushing furiously, thankful the bulge in his pants has gone down.

"So are you guys together now?"

"I'm not sure, I don't want to seem clingy or anything." Ryan replies, tugging lightly at his hair.

"Shit, why are you guys being so confusing about this? When me and Jon knew we liked each other we didn't play that stupid flirting game, we just got right to it."

Ryan's head snaps up quickly, "You and Jon are dating?"

A goofy grin overtakes half of Spencer's face and he nods. "Last night, he called after you hung up and we made it official. I don't understand why you and Brendon are having such trouble doing the same thing."

"Doesn't this kinda seem like a cliche thing? Something that would happen in a movie or a book, not real life?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like, me and you are both single, then suddenly these two amazing guys come into our lives and change us, it doesn't seem real at all."

"That's what I think every time I talk to Jon. I never thought I would have somebody like him in my life." Spencer says, his grin has softened into a smile and Ryan can feel his face match his best friends.

"But you," Spencer says with a pointed finger in Ryan's direction. "We don't have much more time of recording before Brendon goes back to Vegas, you need to figure out things with him, I have a feeling you'll regret it if you don't."

"But it's not going to work, Spence." Ryan says, his previous troubles seeping back into his mind now that Brendon isn't around.

"He'll go back to Vegas and I'll stay here. Long distance relationships don't work."

"Me and Jon have been doing okay these past few days, and I know our relationship just officially started but this feels like the real deal, you know?"

Suddenly, Ryan's mind is filled with images of Brendon, pouting on a stage, angry at a blank television screen, mocking Ryan's scarves and then him under a streetlight, moving closer with a glow in his eyes.

"Yea," He replies softly, "I know what you mean."

***

Brendon wipes his forehead with the back of his hand, groaning loudly. "Aren't we done yet?" He says while they cameras have been turned off.

Ryan just rolls his eyes, slightly irritated with Brendon's attitude during this whole shopping experience.

"Ryan!" Brendon whines, sliding down against the wall until his ass hits the floor and he curls his legs up into his chest, looking incredibly small. "I'm tired."

"Maybe if you stopped whining all the time we could actually get something done." Ryan replies, fixing his tie in the mirror, waiting for the signal that they're recording again. Brendon opens his mouth again, probably to whine some more Ryan thinks, but before he can get a word out Ryan is on his knees in front of him, after looking around to make sure nobody is watching he cups Brendon's face in hands. "Please Brendon, this day has been stressful enough and all I want to do is kiss you right now but I can't and you whining is only giving me a headache."

Brendon huffs but Ryan can see a blush forming on his cheeks. After a moment he looks up, meeting Ryan's eyes and smirks. "You want to kiss me right now?"

"I always want to kiss you." Ryan says, a small smile playing on his lips.

Brendon laughs, clear and happy. "I'll have to remember that, I can use it to my advantage one day."

Ryan rolls his eyes again and quickly pecks Brendon's nose before standing up and walking over to Spencer.  
Brendon watches Ryan walk away and feels his heart pick up.

***

"Jon Walker!" Brendon says happily into his phone.

"It's about time your bitch ass decided to call me." Jon replies, Brendon can hear the smiles in his voice though.

"Phones work two ways, my friend. Anyway, why haven't you called me and told me you made things official with Spencer? I had to have Ryan tell me, I thought we were friends, Jon Walker." Brendon pouts even though Jon can't see him.

"Stop pouting, you'll get frown lines." Jon laughs, making Brendon crack a smile and laugh along with him. "Anyway, me and Spencer just started this officially and I was going to call you but I wasn't sure what your schedule was, Mr. Hollywood."

Brendon bursts out laughing, "Mr. Hollywood? Sure, a shitty little show on TLC, I'm waiting for my Emmy nomination."

Jon chuckles lightly. "I do miss you though, it's been pretty boring here without you."

Brendon grins happily and clutches his phone tighter in his palm. "I miss you too, Jon. We're almost done recording, just a few more segments I think, then I can come home." His voice falters at the ending, making him wince slightly.

"Spencer told me about you and Ryan?" Jon says, his voice going higher at the end making it sound like a question.

"I like him, I honestly do but I'm not sure how it's going to work out after I go home. I'm not into long distance relationship." He pauses and frowns, "You can't kiss and snuggle through Skype or phone calls. How do you and Spencer do it?"

"Well, uhm, it's easy for now- since we just started dating- but I think as time goes on it will be harder to stay away from each other, but like I said, our relationship is really young so we'll just have to play it out and see how things go along."

"I really like him." Brendon repeats, feeling his stomach flip slightly. "That scares me, I don't want to end up falling for him just so I can leave within a few days, never to see him ever again besides on TV."  


"You don't know it will work out like that."

"God, this is ironic." Brendon realizes.

"How so?"

"It's just that, this morning me and Ryan had this exact conversation except the roles were reversed, he was scared about not seeing each other and not working out and I was the one reassuring him. Fuck, when did my life become some awkward drama?"

"Just do what me and Spencer are doing, let nature run it's course, dude."

"Right, I'll try." Brendon says and turns over to look at the clock on his microwave "It's getting pretty late, I'll call you soon okay?"

"You better." Jon warns and Brendon smiles before hanging up and yawning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter should be called Jon and Spencer get together officially and they both think Ryan and Brendon are stupid fucks, because that's basically all that happens. Sorry it's not that interesting of an update, it's more of a filler chapter for other things I have planned. Also, I'd like to apologize for any and all mistakes/typos that can be found in this chapter. Thanks for reading!!


	6. Chapter 6

"So, Brendon." Jack says as he walks into the small room, nothing but a chair in front of a mirror, minus the cameras. Jack walks further in the room, staring at Brendon's face in the mirror, his hand pressed up against his shoulder gently. "I can tell you obviously want your own style but what your doing isn't really the right way."

Brendon nods, staring at his dark brown hair, brushing against his shoulders and puffing out at the sides. He raises a hand to his forehead, flicking his thick bangs out of his eyes. Jack notices and chuckles, "Having hair in front of your eyes like that can damage your vision. But what do I know? I'm just a hairdresser."

Brendon laughs and shuffles in his seat, still feeling slightly awkward under Jack's gaze. "When was the last time you got it cut?" Jack asks, moving behind Brendon and fluffing his hair around a bit.

"Uhm maybe a year and a half? I did it myself, I've been busy lately."

"Right, you're a musician." Brendon nods. "As a musician, you probably are aiming for your own style, a way to make people remember you. I'm not trying to say appearance is everything but if you don't take care of yourself, that can sometimes change the way that people think about you."

Jack tears his eyes from Brendon's hair and looks into the mirror again, smiling. "I think I know the perfect way to change you up, a way to shape your hair to give your face a stronger look. Are you ready?"

Brendon smiles, his teeth blinding in the mirror, a free haircut? Of course he is ready, saves him twenty bucks in the future. Jack smirks and steps back, turning the chair so it's facing away from the mirror. "Well, lets begin."

***

"Is the eyeliner really necessary?" Brendon frowns as Jack lines his eyes for what must be the tenth time.

"Of course! It makes your eyes pop and stand out more then they already do, you have such a gorgeous eye color." Jacks smiles down at him, a small smirk underlying in his lips.  


Brendon huffs under his breath, tried of Jack's constant flirting throughout the whole haircut and makeup applying. After he feels a few more swipes from the dark pencil Jack pulls his hands back and his face is glowing. "Perfect, are you ready to see the new Brendon?"  


"Uhm." Brendon says, uncertainty.

"Okay!" Jack confirms happily, twisting the chair back around fully and.

Brendon's jaw drops.

His hair, once long and curled around his ears, is now short. Shorter then it's been in a long time, spiking up in the back and his bangs still lay flat across his forehead but no longer hanging in front of his eyes. Brendon turns his head to the side, fingers tracing down the sides of his hair, which go down almost to the bottom of his ears, he's never really had visible sideburns before but he guesses they look okay on him.

He isn't really crazy about the makeup though, while some could say he looks good, he mostly thinks he resembles a raccoon and that thought is so unattractive to him. "So," Jack's smug voice brings him out of his thoughts, "You like it? I think you look perfect. Perfect and amazing and attractive and-"

"I get it." Brendon mutters, frowning for a split seconds before he lets a smile graze along his lips, not entirely fake but on the borderline of annoyed. "And yes, I like it. I never really thought of having anything like this, but it's good. I could get used to it, not constantly having to push my bangs from my face all the time." He chuckles, still watching his reflection.

"Perfect," Jack isn't smirking anymore, a genuine smile on his lips and Brendon can forgive all the awkward flirting when Jack smiles like that. "Most people just think hair is just that- hair, but it's so much more then that. It says a lot about a person and I hope you keep it looking like that." He grins, pointing a stern finger at Brendon's reflection.

"Thank you." Brendon said, tearing his eyes from the mirror and twisting his body, smiling at Jack, not hesitating when Jack pulls him into a hug.

***

Brendon was talking to Patrick about the new Hunger Games movie when Ryan strolled up behind them, placing a hand on Brendon's shoulder, causing the younger boy to jump slightly and turn around, grinning when he saw Ryan. He turned back quickly and politely ended his conversation with Patrick and grabbed Ryan's hand, pulling him off to the side where some of the crew was packing up a few cameras. 

"I didn't see you at all today." Brendon pouts when they stopped walking.

Ryan chuckled, carefully running one of his hand's through Brendon's hair. "You were busy, I was busy. You look really, really good though."

Brendon laughs, pushing on Ryan's shoulder gently. "I know, I always look good."

"This is true." Ryan hums, fingers still pulling at Brendon's hair not so carefully anymore. "So uhm, do you have anything to do today?"

"Of course I do, I'm on a contestant on a popular TV show now, my entourage is outside waiting for me." Brendon teases, eyes shining playfully.

Ryan shakes his head, the mockery never stops from Brendon but Ryan can learn to forgive him when Brendon is looking at him this way, playful eyes and bottom lips snugly fitted between his teeth.

"Can't leave them waiting then." Ryan jokes, pulling away from Brendon, ignoring the younger boy's sounds of protest. Ryan feels Brendon's arms circle around his waist instantly when he turns away.

"What did you have in mind?" Brendon whispers into Ryan's neck, his breath tickling the skin. Ryan doesn't reply, just chuckles and pulls Brendon towards the exit.

***

Brendon jumps on Ryan the second they walk into his apartment, not even taking the time to look at his surroundings, his whole focus on Ryan. They bang against the wall, Ryan's body trapped between door and Brendon. "So," Brendon breathes out, his breath a warm puff against Ryan's top lip. "When you said you wanted to do something, I'm going to hope that means me."

Ryan pauses, licks his lips and lets a small laugh escape his already swollen lips "That was terribly cheesy, but I'm willing to forgive you because you look incredibly sexy right now."

Brendon's response is a burst of laughter, he smells like chocolate milk and apples- something that Ryan shouldn't find so attractive, but he can't help himself when he leans forward abruptly, licking his way into Brendon's mouth and swallowing the younger boy's surprised gasp.

After a few moments of their tongues battling, Ryan can feel Brendon begin to squirm slightly, Ryan quickly lowers his hands to rest just under Brendon's ass, right at the top of his thighs, he holds on tighter and pulls Brendon closer, "Just, put your legs-."

"Yeah, yeah." Brendon mumbles against his lips, one of his legs lifting up, the other quickly following, it takes a minute or two but soon Ryan is successfully holding Brendon up, he shifts his hips forward slightly, pushing against Brendon's, smirks when he hears Brendon gasp.

His feet carry him over to his bedroom automatically and before he can register it, he's gently laying Brendon down on his bed. They stare at each other for a moment, Brendon's eyes wide and filled with want, his chest expanding quickly. Ryan knows he matches Brendon's expression. 

Ryan pulls his tie off, unbuttoning his shirt and throwing them off to the side. He watches with slight amusement as Brendon scrambles to do the same.  
Once shirtless, Brendon reaches out for Ryan, almost making grabby hands but not quite. Ryan just takes a step back and shakes his head, amusement still written over his features but still looking downright edible to Brendon. 

His fingers trail down his body and pause at his pants, hands toying with his belt, enjoying Brendon's whines. "Ryan please, wanna see you."

"Patience." Ryan says simply, loving watching Brendon come undone before he's even touched him. He finishes pulling off his belt, dropping it to the floor, his hands run along the top of his black dress pants and he smirks at Brendon, "Take your pants off."

Brendon doesn't hesitate, quickly discarding the clothing and not even thinking about it before he pulls off his boxers, throwing them along with his pants, he feels his heartbeat quicken up as Ryan stares at him, mouth slightly agape. "Like what you see?" Brendon teases, wiggling his eyebrows and running a hand up and down his body.

He can see Ryan swallow, the line of his throat dragging along his Adam's apple and fuck why does that make Brendon so much harder? Ryan seems to have forgotten about his strip act because less then a few seconds later he is equally as naked, straddling Brendon's waist.

Brendon waists no time in grabbing one of Ryan's hands, bringing it up to his mouth and licking at two of his fingers.

"Fuck." Ryan gasps helplessly, pushing his two fingers against Brendon's lips. Brendon opens his mouth and sucks Ryan's fingers in, humming slightly when he feels Ryan push down on his tongue. He pulls Ryan's hand back, a small 'pop' leaving his mouth and he drops Ryan's hand, crawling backwards on the bed until he is at head level with the pillow, he spreads his legs apart slightly, cocking an eyebrow up at Ryan. "Want you inside me." He says simply and that seems to unfreeze Ryan, he crawls up after Brendon quickly, attaching their lips together and pushing his tongue past Brendon's lips, licking around inside his mouth.

Ryan reaches out blindly, almost knocking his alarm clock off his bedside table before finding the drawer opening, pulling on the handle he reaches a hand inside, struggling a bit before he finds a bottle of lube and a box of condoms. He pulls both items out of the drawer and Brendon leans back, a small smile when he notices the unopened box. Ryan blushes slightly when he notices what Brendon is smiling at, "It's been a while." He explains quietly. 

Brendon looks up, that small smile still grazing his lips. He swallows quickly and licks his lips before saying, "Yeah, me too."

He thinks this might mean something, but Ryan tries not to focus on it. He turns his attention to the matter at hand and leans back from Brendon, settling himself between Brendon's legs, pressing a quick kiss to one of his knees. Ryan pops open the bottle and squirts a generous amount onto three of his fingers. Rubbing his fingers together to warm the liquid he bends down, licking a long strip up Brendon's cock, causing Brendon to hiss and moan, tighten his fingers in the sheets. 

"Holy fuck, Ryan." Brendon whimpers, Ryan just hums quietly and ducks his head down again, sucking the head of Brendon's cock into his mouth at the same time he pushes a finger into Brendon's ass. "Oh, oh my god." Another whimper leaves Brendon's mouth and Ryan reaches down with his free hand, squeezes the base of his dick to calm himself down.

Ryan keeps up that rhythm for a bit, teasing the head of Brendon's cock with his tongue and pushing his one finger in and out at a quickening pace. Brendon begins to moan loudly when he crooks his finger up. "More, more, more." Brendon says, hurriedly, his hips thrusting down onto Ryan's fingers when he pushes a second one alongside the first. 

"Fuck, fuck, yes." Brendon babbles when Ryan sets a faster pace, crooking his fingers up, pressing into Brendon's prostate repeatedly, flicking his tongue over the head of Brendons cock and licking down the sides, the taste of precum filling his mouth.

"You have to, now I just. C'mon Ryan." Brendon whines and Ryan nods, pressing a small kiss to Brendon's cock once more before pulling back, ripping open the box of condoms and pulling one out, throwing the box off to the side. He rips open the foil wrapper and rolls the condom onto his cock, hissing lightly when he rubs lube onto his erection. He crawls up Brendon's body, grabbing one of Brendon's hands and linking their fingers together, his other hand holding the base of his dick, slowly pressing it against Brendon's entrance.

He pauses, looks into Brendon's eyes and Brendon nods, lets out a tiny shaky breath, his eyes close and his mouth fall open instantly when Ryan begin to push in, a small groan leaving both of their lips at the same time. "Shit." Ryan breathes out once he's all the way in.

"Yeah, oh god." Brendon tilts his head back, his other hand flies up, clutching the back of Ryan's neck. Ryan fights back the urge to not fuck into Brendon properly but to just breathe, feeling Brendon adjust to him. After a moments silence Brendon opens his eyes again, "move." He says.

With one hand still attached firmly to Brendon's and the other hand gripping Brendon's hips he pulls back, pushing back in at a slow pace, there is still some pain show on Brendon's face but he still nods. Ryan repeats the movement, pushing back in a bit faster, tilting his hips up but not quite finding the right angle. After a few more thrusts Ryan pulls out completely, Brendon whines and Ryan just chuckles, adjust himself over Brendon slightly differently, quickly pushing back in, aiming up and fuck, there it is, finally.

Brendon's pupils widen and he moans loudly, says, "Fuck, there. Ryan, fuck, fuck me. There."

Ryan smirks and starts pounding into Brendon harder, the headboard banging loudly against his wall, he knows his neighbors will be able to hear them, with Brendon's loud groans and Ryan's own gasps, everybody in the building will be able to hear them but he find himself not giving a fuck because this is perfect and he can't remember the last time he felt this good.

Brendon's own hips start to thrust upwards, meeting each of Ryan's thrusts perfectly, the slap of skin-on-skin is filling the room but Ryan just drives into Brendon harder, leaning down and licking the sweat pooling at his collarbone, moaning loudly when he feels Brendon clench around his cock. 

"So good Brendon, you feel so fucking good." Ryan murmurs against Brendon's flushed skin, his tongue flicking out again and running along the tendons in his neck.

"You too, god so. Aahh, Ryan." Brendon tosses his head back when he feels Ryan's hand circle around his cock, jerking him off in time with his thrusts and fuck, this is fucking perfect. 

Ryan barely registers when he comes because he's so focused on Brendon's own orgasm, his pupils blown and mouth hanging open, hips thrusting upwards desperately and a long gorgeous moan leaving his swollen lips. Ryan's hips make small minuscule thrusts until he's done.

Its silent for a moment until Ryan pulls out, taking the condom off and throwing it to the side. When he turns, Brendon's still looking at him, he's about to open his mouth when Brendon quickly sits up and captures Ryan's lips, murmurs something Ryan can't quite understand. He pulls back, asks, "What?"

"I said, how long do you think before you can go again?"

Ryan sputters for a moments until he manages to stutter out, "Give me at least 10 minutes."

"You get five."

"What?"

"Five minutes, then I'm going to ride you."

And well, Ryan can't really argue with that.

***  
"Fuck your stamina." Ryan moans out when Brendon grinds down hard, throwing his head back. Brendon's riding him, both hands placed on Ryan's chest, quickly lifting himself up and slamming down, making delicious gasps and moans when he gets the angle right.

"Seriously, I don't think- ahh." Ryan cries out, Brendon clenching around him perfectly.

"I'm. God, so close Ryan. Please." Brendon's bouncing slows down and he looks at Ryan with pleading eyes. It takes Ryan a moment to understand before he quickly pulls Brendon down and flips them over, carefully so he doesn't slip out.

Once Brendon is laying flat on his back he wraps his legs around Ryan's waist, thrusting his hips up every time Ryan pushes in. "Mph, Ry. R-right there."

Ryan's thrusts speed up, knowing he won't be able to last much longer. Ryan leans his head down, licking one of the freshly made hickeys adorning Brendon's neck, sucking and biting on the tender flesh. He feels his stomach tighten when Brendon cries out again, his thighs shaking where they rest against his hips. 

"God," Ryan moans when he feels Brendon clenching around him again. "This is, I. you feel so good, Brendon."

Brendon nods quickly, squeezing his eyes shut when Ryan thrusts in particularly hard, hitting his prostate dead on. "I'm gonna- Ryan."

Ryan brings his hand up to his mouth, licking his palm and reaching down to grab Brendon's cock, hard and leaking in his palm. "Fuck, yeah." Brendon moans, tossing his head back into the pillows.

"Bren, Brendon I can't-" Ryan says quickly before he's coming, his hips stuttering and jerking. He hisses when Brendon squirms under him and comes, covering his stomach and Ryan's fist.

Their heavy breathes fill the room, both remain unmoving for a minute until Ryan feels Brendon squirming again. "Sorry." He whispers, pulling out carefully, kissing away the wince on Brendon's face. He pulls off the condom, tying it and throwing it into the trash can in the corner of his room.

"God, that was."

Brendon laughs and pulls Ryan down next to him, snuggling into his side instantly. "Absolutely fucking perfect." Brendon finishes for him in a whisper.

Ryan turns his head to the side, grins at Brendon and leans in, pressing a gentle kiss on his lips quickly."Yeah, it was." He breathes against Brendon's lips, "Sleep now though, we have a busy day tomorrow." He says so quietly he's not sure if Brendon heard. Brendon just mumbles something incoherently, arms tightening around Ryan's waist he drifting off to sleep.

Ryan stares at Brendon, trying to calm his heart down. He can't believe how much has changed between them in the short time they've known each other. They weren't friends for the first few days of knowing each other, didn't even like each other that much but, one trip to H&M changed that all. Ryan thinks back to that day, shyly talking about everything and nothing over tea in a random coffee shop, walking back to Brendon's hotel, fingers brushing the whole way there and the kiss, light and hesitant but perfect.

He doesn't want to think about how tomorrow will be Brendon's last full day in New York. How they will be filming their goodbye's tomorrow and sending Brendon off on his way. They usually don't talk to contestants much after that final segment, just a few off screen hugs and some final advice and then that's it. Ryan's heart clenches painfully and he holds onto Brendon tighter, hoping that they can find a way to work this out because even though Ryan isn't sure if it's love yet- like he said they haven't known each other that long- he's not sure he can be without this boy.

Ryan holds on tighter, drifting off to sleep, worry still clouding his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! I'm starting to get more of a direction of where this is headed, it won't be that much longer, I know that. Maybe 10 chapters long? I'm not sure but at least I know how it's going to end now and that's extremely reassuring. So, I'm sorry it's taken this long to post but I hope that boisex makes up for it! I'm still not that good at writing sex scenes, but I like to think I'm getting better. As always, thanks for reading and Happy Valentines Day, I love all of you! (Also, sorry for any typo's / mistakes, it's pretty late.)


	7. Chapter 7

Brendon looked around at the hotel room he had been calling home for the past few weeks and kicked an empty pringles can to the side. The room was messy, clothes thrown all over and food containers piled on the floor. He sighed and bent down, collecting some of the trash and carrying it over to the garbage can and emptying his hands. 

He couldn't help but feel weird this morning, waking up next to Ryan was slightly awkward, with the way Ryan hadn't said more then a few sentences and only kissed him once before going off to the shower, telling Brendon he should head home and get ready for the final segment recording. It was obvious Ryan was trying to act casual about today being Brendon's last day in New York but pushing him away did nothing but make Brendon upset and confused, worrying if Ryan only wanted to get into Brendon's pants.

Brendon mentally slapped himself as that thought ran through his head, Ryan didn't want that, they were more than just a casual fuck, at least to Brendon they were. His room was slightly cleaner, well as clean as it could get with 22 year old living in it. He looked at the messy sheets and was about to fix them over the bed when he heard his cell phone going off, the special ringtone letting him know who was calling before he answered.

"Jon!" 

"Hey Kid." 

Brendon felt a warm flood of happiness fill into his gut at the familiarity of Jon's voice. Even though their phone calls had become more frequent, he still missed his best friend. Scoffing at the term of endearment Brendon said, "I'm not a kid, Jon!"

He heard a chuckle through the phone line, "You're younger than me, kid."

Brendon let out a huff and heard Jon chuckle again, "So, today is the big day?"

"Big day?" Brendon replied, acting dumb.

"You know what I mean, your last day in New York. You excited to be out of there?"

"It's bittersweet," Brendon frowned, "Me and Ryan are kind of, I'm not really sure but we slept together last night." He paused before adding, "Multiple times."

"Oh gross, I don't need to hear that."

"Hey! You scarred me with details of your's and Spencer's bedroom shenanigans."

Jon gave a burst of laughter, "Oh my god, bedroom shenanigans? What even is that?"

Brendon's lips curled into a smile for a moment before he felt them fall. "Just a saying. Anyway, it was. It was seriously perfect and he's just, god I can't even explain how he makes me feel but, this morning he was acting all weird."

"Well it is Ross, you know."

"You act like you know him so well." Brendon said, raising an eyebrow to nobody.

"Yeah well, Spencer talks about him a lot, I get him, I think."

Brendon pushed himself down on the messy sheets of his bed, his hair still frayed from the night before and he ran a hand through it. Trying to get his mind off Ryan for the time being, he said, "So, how are things with Spencer?"

***

Brendon looks absolutely stunning in his crisp new suit, Ryan thinks to himself. It doesn't look like something you would wear at a formal dinner party or to work in an office but that makes it that much more different, unique in a way. Something only Brendon could pull off.

But that's just Ryan, and in all honestly he thinks Brendon would look gorgeous in anything, even when he wore hideous sweatpants and tank tops with flip flops. Maybe it wasn't the most alluring combination of clothing and Ryan would never wear anything like that, he still is awed by the way Brendon can pull off almost anything.

Filming for the final segment starts in two hours, Brendon arrived just a mere thirty minutes and he's been in makeup and clothing for the entire time, and he'll stay there until recording starts. A lot of things on the show are overplayed, he'll admit, but the ending never is, watching the contestant walk out as a new person is 100% real. Ryan would never tell anybody but that's always been his favorite part, the way their faces light up as they watch themselves in the mirror, the way their new outfits look on them, how the fabric clings to their bodies in a way they didn't know was possible. Yeah, Ryan's a sucker for that and it's one of the main reasons he loves his job.

Hearing his name called out brings Ryan from his thoughts, turning his head to the side he sees Spencer walking towards him, a prominent grin on his lips. "I'm so excited that this is the last day for filming."

"Me too." Ryan replies, only half lying. Recording is a stressful thing and he's excited for the week or two he gets off in between contestants.  
"I didn't see you after we finished up yesterday, where'd you go?"

"Back to my place, what else would I do?"

A smirk stretches across Spencer's face and a slight chuckle emerges. "Right, you weren't all that sneaky yesterday, Ross."

Ryan feels his cheeks heat up and he clears his throat. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, you went back to you're place yesterday. With Brendon."

"So?"

"Did you guys fuck?" Spencer says casually, although way to loud for Ryan's ears.

Eyes widening, Ryan clamps a hand over Spencer's mouth. "Shh!" He frowns and grimaces when he feels Spencer's tongue peek out and lick at his palm. He jerks his hand back wiping it against the wall. "Oh, gross."

"Answer my question! Did you guys do it?"

"God are you twelve?" Ryan rolls his eyes, shifting on his feet. "And don't just say 'fuck' that makes it seem so.. I don't know.." He trails off.

"Meaningless?" Spencer fills in.

Ryan shrugs.

"So it meant something?"

Ryan shrugs again and murmurs, "Well to me it did."

"And what about Brendon?"

Thankfully, the conversation is cut off when they both hear a loud voice, "Guys! Last day! I can't wait to get out of here, me and Trick are going on a vacation!"

Pete beams in Patrick's direction and Patrick just raises and eyebrow and says, "I didn't agree to this." Ryan can still see the corners of his lips twitching just the slightest bit.

"Whatever, mere technicalities, my boy! Anyway." Pete pauses, flipping through a few pages on his clipboard. "We're about to start, you guys get your big smiles on."

"Big smile on." Ryan mutters under his breath. Pete waves a hand at him and just smiles, repeating, "Get them on!"

Sighing, Ryan sulks off to the makeup room and, after being told Brendon wasn't in there anymore, walks in. His eyes trace over the pencils and powders thrown across the desk and he frowns, obviously the new makeup artist doesn't understand the importance of organization.

***

After the incident with Haley, Spencer promised himself he wouldn't get involved with any more contestants, and to be fair he hasn't. He's even gone as far as not making much of a friendship with them either, that was always Ryan's part. Ryan was the one who got to know the contestant better, become friends and learn more about them but Spencer was happy to just stay in the background and only be on camera when needed. It's not that he hated being friendly, he also didn't want to say that he was avoiding forming friendships because he was afraid of being hurt but that's especially what it was. He thought he sounded like a chick whenever he though like that, afraid to let people in because he didn't want his feelings hurt like some teenager.

That wasn't the only reason though, sure it would be nice to have another friend besides Ryan for a few weeks but that's all it would be- A few weeks. Neither him nor Ryan had tried to keep up a friendship with any consents since their departure at the end of the episode and he was fine with keeping it that way, long distance anythings were always a hassle.

Not that his and Jon's relationship was a hassle at all, it had just started and if they were developed more feelings in the future, well they would just have to find a way to sort things out when it got to that point. 

"Tell me more about yourself, Jon Walker." Spencer says into his phone, clutched tightly in his palm.

"I've pretty much told you everything there is about me. Born and raised in Chicago, took a vacation to Las Vegas, met this little shit named Brendon, fell madly in love and moved in with him after intense rounds of sex."

"Whoa, let's hope Ryan doesn't find out that you're in love with his boyfriend." Spencer laughs, a warm smile on his face.

"Boyfriend?" Jon chuckles.

"No, those guys are way to complicated."

"Thank god you're not like them, Spence."

"Hey, they're not all that bad."

"I know you can't see me right now, but I'm totally rolling my eyes at that statement."

Spencer laughs again, rolling over onto his stomach on the couch in his dressing room, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "I wish I could see you."

"Me too, but hey, we'll work this out, right?"

"Of course we will."

"You know, I've told you about how I met Brendon, but you never told me how you met Ryan."

"How I met Ryan?"

Jon makes an affirmative noise.

"It really isn't that interesting of a story, I was seven I think, Ryan eight, and my mom had taken me to the mall to get a toy at Build- A- Bear."

A burst of laughter shoots though the speaker and Spencer frowns, "What?"

"Build-A-Bear? God, you are so gay, Smith."

"Hey, fuck you, I was seven!"

"Yeah, yeah. Continue, homo."

Spencer scoffs but his smile is still etched onto his features. "Right, after I had gotten my bear and everything my mom took us over to the food court, and we got Burger king, I think and after I was finished eating I asked my mom for a quarter so I could get one of those shitty little toys from those machine things. When I got over there, there was this boy who was looking at them, I remember he was looking at the one with the fake plastic rings, but the realistic looking ones."

"I stood behind him, waiting my turn because I wasn't rude, you know? So after a minute or two of this dude just standing there, I was all like 'Hey, hurry up please!' And this kid just turns around and frowns stepping off to the side. So I put my money into the machine and got my little ring."

"Oh god, you went for the one with the ring?"

"Yeah, obviously, why wouldn't I?"

"Dude, everybody knows you're supposed to go after the one with the fake mustaches!"

"I don't think they had any."

"Lame ass mall."

"It really was, but anyway I guess I got the ring that he wanted and he seemed all bummed out and I just, I don't know gave it to him? And he smiled all brightly at me and said 'I'm Ryan' the rest is history."

Jon makes an over dramatic sniffling noise, "That was so beautiful."

"Shut up, asshole."

***  
"Okay and now turn your head to the left."

Brendon rolls his eyes, following the simple yet annoying request.

A moment passes before, "Okay and now to the right."

Suppressing a groan, Brendon yet again follows the request, keeping the smile on his face as he was told to do. 

They've been taking pictures of him for the past twenty minutes and he's had to change his clothes four times, each outfit more ridiculous than the last. The photographers keep cooing him though, saying he would be a perfect model and how gorgeous he looks. Brendon keeps a straight face at this though, nodding at the right times and getting in the simple poses and trying to ignore how the blinking of the cameras flash is starting to piss him off.

Brendon really isn't surprised that this show hasn't changed his idea of fashion at all, but he goes along with it, accepting each tip with a gracious smile. He knows that once he gets back home he won't be changing anything about him at all, the only difference between Brendon before this show and Brendon after the show is a little less hair and a little more makeup.

"Okay, okay good! We're almost done, just a few more shots." One of the photographers says when she notices Brendon getting slightly restless.

Brendon smiles gratefully in her direction, keeping up his position and after a promised few snaps of the camera, Brendon is set off on his way.

"Brendon!" Turning his head, Brendon smiles at Patrick and waves his hand in greeting.

"What's up?"

"Not much right now, I just got done being molested by cameras though."

Patrick chuckles, and shrugs. "Well, If you want to be a musician that might happen to you, you know paparazzi, millions of fan girls dying to get a picture with you."

Brendon laughs along with him and rolls his eyes playfully, "Million of girls isn't really what I'm looking forward too."

"Oh?" Patrick raises an eyebrow at Brendon, tilting his head to the side.

"Well it's not like I'm dying to have millions of boys after me either." Brendon quickly replies. 

"Oh?" Patrick says again, more in a mocking tone this time.

"Shut up" Brendon replies, bumping shoulder with Patrick lightly. They both chuckle and make small, idle talk until Brendon's name is called.

"Well, this is it."

"Mhm, I'm not sure if we're going to be seeing each other anymore so, uhm. It's been nice talking to you, most of the other people on this show are not the nicest people."

Brendon smiles and opens his arms, when Patrick raises an eyebrow Brendon just says, "C'mon man, hug it out." And they do, patting each other's back lightly and pulling away with matching smiles.

"I'll see you around, kid." Patrick says before stepping away, waving one more time before pulling a walkie-talking from his back pocket.

Brendon turns around and is met with a happy faced Pete, grinning largely. "You excited?"

"I guess, I'm excited to get home, mostly."

"I know what you mean, we've been editing and recording so much lately, I haven't haven't had that much free time to myself either."

A green light shines over their heads and Brendon swallows.

Still grinning, Pete pushes him slightly towards the door, "Lets finish this bitch up!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa it has been over a month, sorry! I know what I want to happen but I've been having trouble putting it all into words. Oops. Anyways... I just noticed this story has 500 views! Whoa! The number of hits my stories get usually don't matter to me that much, but seriously, 500 hits? That's a lot, so thank you to everybody who has taken the time to read my little awkward writings, it means everything to me. I'll try to not take as long to post the next chapter. (Also, sorry for any typos/mistakes)

**Author's Note:**

> This was obviously inspired by the TLC show 'What Not To Wear' so I'm just going to add a disclaimer saying I don't own the show or have anything to do with it. Updates will be random for now, I will try to post once a week though


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